Forgivenss
According to a self-help pamphlet I found at a church, I learned that forgiveness consists of four steps. The first is to acknowledge the hurt. The second is to own the feelings of hatred, blame and anger. The third is to accept the need for healing, and let go of the need to get revenge. The fourth is to wish the other person well and offer a chance for a restored relationship. A notable quote is the following:
“Forgiveness is not quantifiable, and it is not contingent upon the repentance or remorse of the offender. Sometimes those who hurt us later realize what they have done and express regret, but often they do not. Our forgiveness of others cannot await this uncertain outcome and actually has nothing to do with it. If we wait for others to be sorry that they have injured us, we may wait forever. The forgiving spirit is a quality within the forgiver, and is not dependent on the moral caliber of the offender. Our spiritual growth must proceed regardless of what others do. The three “Cs” of recovery programs remind us that we did not cause others to be like they are; we cannot control them; and we won’t be able to cure them.”
What or whom have you had to forgive? Please share stories with me in the comments.
Marina Grace
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Empathy is also a big part of forgiving. I saw someone I had a brief intense friendship and though he called out to me on the street, when we spoke he acted like a cold stranger. I know that I have impulsively called out to people and then realized I didn't want to talk to them, so it was easy to let go feeling wronged by that. I've also been in situations where I've frozen someone out and while I'm sad, I've been there, so. Oh well. Is that forgiveness? It feels more like chalking up my losses.