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Good bye D.C., Hello San Francisco

I live in San Francisco now. Today is day 10 since I arrived and I feel like this is home. I’m staying with my boyfriend, Schubert, until I find a place to live with my lovely roommate, Laura. Schubert lives in a house in the mission and has 5 roommates, who are all musicians.

This is what Schubert and Laura look like:

Young%20Schubert.jpg Belle.jpg

I’m spending my time doing domestic things. When I’m happy, I start cleaning and cooking, laundering and grocery shopping. Since I arrived, I’ve scrubbed the boys’ bathtub, made the house’s fridge sparkling clean, done about 10 loads of laundry, folded laundry that didn’t belong to me (have received about a dozen thank yous from people), cooked a few meals, made some great dessert to share, swept floors, scrubbed countertops, and organized my boyfriend’s closet (mainly to make room for my things in it).

He’s been a sweetheart about all of this stuff. Instead of saying, “Stop meddling and leave my stuff alone!” he’s said thank you to me for every little thing I’ve done, including getting rid of the squeaky hinges on his bedroom door (the trick: take a Q-tip and dip it in olive oil, dab on to the hinges for a quick fix). I’ve replaced a burnt-out light bulb and bought him an adorable Wonder Bread sandwich box—he said thank you and thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’ve found a lovely balance here.

All women really want is acknowledgement. When she does something nice, like remove the goo off the soap dish, all she wants is a quick, “Hey! That goo is gone. Thanks!” Not saying anything is not a good idea, but it’s certainly better than saying something like, “What did you do that for? What a waste of time!” The last response will explain why you don’t get laid that night.

I folded Schubert’s still warm, freshly laundered bath towel and I brought it up to his face while he was working busily on his composition. “Isn’t this nice?” I asked. He smiled and said, “It’s all in the details.” And that is how, ladies and gentlemen, he made me feel appreciated.

***

I’m not working right now, so I’m trying not to spend money where I don’t have to. My job starts on October 29th, and I considered calling them up and saying, “I’d like to start earlier, please.” But then someone said to me, “Are you nuts?” And I had to seriously consider that possibility—Who in their right mind would give up two weeks of vacation time, especially having just arrived in a new city, where beautiful coffee shops and used book stores cry out for attention? I planned on spending this time looking for apartments, but certain technical difficulties have kept Laura and me from signing a lease. We’ll regroup in a few weeks and go from there. In the meantime, I take meandering walks around the neighborhoods and window shop. I sleep in late, cook meals at home, visit with Schubert during his breaks, and read a ton. There are no TVs in the house, so I watch movies on Netflix and read books instead.

Currently, I’m working through Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt and A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. Very different books—the first is a memoir about an Irish family and their survival from the perspective of a little boy, the second is a memoir written by a man from Sierra Leone about his childhood surviving as a child soldier. I'm reading the first one because it won the Pulitzer Prize and the second one for a book club that's meeting soon.

***

Things are great right now. How are you all?

Posted on Wednesday, October 17, 2007 at 01:02AM by Registered CommenterMarina Grace in | Comments6 Comments

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Reader Comments (6)

> When she does something nice, like remove the goo off the soap dish, all she wants is a quick, “Hey! That goo is gone. Thanks!”

Like many men, I don't think I learned this lesson as quickly as I should have. BTW, this is great relationship advice. Letting my wife know I noticed her effort, and that I appreciate it, makes all the difference.

Good luck in SF!
October 17, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterLubab No More
San Fran huh? Nice place. It's a lot cooler there than I expected. Wait until you live through your first tremor, then you'll be a Californian.

:)
October 17, 2007 | Unregistered Commentertunnelvision
Lubab No More: I'm glad that you did learn it though! Many men (and women) never do learn how to be appreciative.

Tunnelvision: Have you ever been through an earthquake? I'm kind of creeped out by the whole concept.
October 17, 2007 | Registered CommenterMarina Grace
Yay for San Francisco!

I've read A Long Way Gone - its a great read.
October 17, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterMatt L
Matt: I'm finding it really hard to get into the book. It's so scary to read.
October 17, 2007 | Registered CommenterMarina Grace
Wow, I met Schubert and he really actually does look like that!
I'm so happy that you're settling in out there. It must feel fantastic after DC!

Appreciation is the key to all relationships, all of them. I think there can be so many turf battles with our intimate people--boyfriends and family--we don't really just notice and appreciate as much as we could.
October 24, 2007 | Unregistered CommenterKirsten

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